I keep trying to stress to people how important routine is to someone with dementia. An overnight stay in the hospital was an example of what I have been saying.
I mentioned a few days ago that my dad was in the hospital. Due to chest pains, the nursing home had sent him to the hospital. He was kept overnight for observation. The hospital sent him back to the nursing home the next afternoon.
This is not the first time my dad has been in the hospital The man has had a slew of serious medical problems for as long as I can remember.
During the night, my stepmother got calls from him. When he called and woke her at 1 or 2:00 a.m., she kept insisting to him that is was time to sleep. He finally hung up and waiting a bit to call back. Well, it was almost the crack of dawn when he called her again.
The calling in the middle of the night and in the wee morning hours was something that we had, for the most part, got him away from doing. Even though he does not want to be at the nursing home, his routine was broke. It was night and he was at a hospital instead of the nursing home; different place, different bed, and different people.
Along with the calling through the night, I also noticed a bit more confusion when I talked to him the next morning. The hospital even had to call me to ask a simple question. The woman said my dad seemed pretty confused and didn’t seem to be able to answer clearly. This was a simple question 🙁
He really does not believe anything is wrong with him. He is not happy about being in the nursing home. My step-mother tried to have him at home. He became aggressive, was doing things that could have caused harm, and well, it was a mess. My husband and I had tried to help keep him at home. That became an explosive situation as soon as I let him know that attacking his wife was not okay. He felt I should “be on his side”. Then he turned on my husband due to a similar situation. That became more of a mess. In his mind, if my husband helped my step-mother and made sure she was okay it meant something was going on between them. Sigh.
I know and understand he wants to be at home. But, at this point I don’t see a safe way to do that. I keep stressing that even though he doesn’t like where he is at, he needs to start having a consistent routine. I feel like I’m blowing air to the wind; no one seems to get it. I believe he would settle a little better and maybe be able to function longer if everyone would establish a routine.
His night in the hospital, showed how change threw him off. The one thing he did have as a routine was to go to bed and wake up in his bed at the nursing home. He didn’t have that the night in the hospital and it showed in his actions and orientation.
Think anyone will get it now? No, they don’t.