My dad is 81 today. His body has been through so many things. This birthday, just like the last, comes around as his mind is wracked with the ongoing effects of dementia.
My question yesterday as to if I would be able to see or talk to my dad was partially answered by mother nature. We have a decent amount of snow on the ground & roads. It would be quite a task to be able to drive to see him. The city is preferring those who do not have to be out to stay off of the roads. So, I will not be able to visit him.
A couple of days ago, one of my aunts went into the same nursing home as my dad. He has always had some weird dynamics with his family. Over the years he has tended to not get along with much of his them. Since dementia set in, I have notice he seems to have forgotten the issues he had with his family & seems to think he always got along with them. I hate that either one of them has to be in a nursing home, but at least he has his sister there. Hopefully they will visit each other for his birthday.
Being as I had not heard where his mental state was at the moment, I debated about calling. Being as the roads are a mess, my step-mother has no business driving out to see him today. It just wouldn’t be safe. So, I figured if I called & caught him in one of his off moods or at a time he was caught in a delusion, at least she wouldn’t be face to face to deal with it. Worst case scenario, he would give me a nasty earful about his wife, my husband, or myself.
I did get to talk to my dad on the phone. His mood seemed about as level as can be expected. He said they had told him the roads are bad. He says he knows it wouldn’t be good for anyone to go out. Of course, that could change as the day goes on to him getting mad & thinking his wife & I should be there. But for now, he understands.
As we talked about the weather, I mentioned this was the first real winter we have had in several years. Our winters have been mild compared to how winter was when I was a child. He started saying I wasn’t old enough to remember how winter use to be. That made me wonder, at that moment, how old or should I say young is he thinking I am? Oh well, one of those things I just let go by. Hey maybe I’m still young in his thoughts. 🙂
All in all, his mood & state of mind seemed decent for now. The biggest thing is he kept saying the doctor said he can go home as soon as the sore on his foot heals. He is diabetic & has developed a pressure sore on his heel. He insisted the doctor told him & his wife as soon as that heals he can go home. I know several doctors have told him that he will not be going home. It just isn’t safe for him or his wife being as we never know what he will do & he can become quite combative at times. All I could is let it go & just mention that it is important to get that sore healed. No sense in debating.
Happy birthday dad. I do hope it will be as good as possible.