Dear Dementia: No Love, Just Hate

My Personal Letter to Dementia:

Dear Dementia,

To be honest, I HATE you!! Yes, I used the “h” word. How dare you sneak in without warning & destroy lives; not only of the ones you inflict yourself on, but also of those who are the caretakers of that person. How dare you!

How wickedly you behave! You play such a horrid trick in that those you put yourself on don’t even know that anything is wrong or different. Yet, due to your nasty devastation, as the caretakers do what has to be done to protect the person & try to care for them, they suddenly appear to be the enemy to the one you so viciously attacked. How dare you!

You made this attack personal. Yet you hide in the once strong mind of someone I love. You can only show your ugliness by using his words & actions. Dementia, you are such a coward! You can’t stand before me & allow me to fight back. No, you hide within the recesses of his mind because you know that I will not strike out at him & hold him accountable; because you know that I know the truth. I know that it is you that is saying those hurtful words, makes him think that I am against him & that I am trying to do him wrong, that says those mean things, and that makes him fight everything that I try to do to help him. Then, out of cruelty it seems, you slither away, like the coward you are & tuck yourself away and allow glimpses of who he really is to appear… not completely, just enough to taunt us with what was & just enough to make those who didn’t know him before wonder, is it really him or could it be those around him. How dare you!

You hide just far enough below the surface that you let him be confused as to why the ones who had done right by him for so long & took good care of him have now made the changes they made for his care. You stay just low enough that he doesn’t see you or feel you. So, he does not know that it is not me, but that it is YOU, Dementia. That YOU are the enemy that is attacking him. You coward. You use him & abuse him & destroy all that was. Yet, you hide within his mind; instead of standing up before me on your own. No, you don’t allow a fair fight. In fact, you behave in such a cowardly way that you don’t allow me to fight back at all. How dare you!

There is no love hate relationship with you. I only hate you, Dementia. Remember, I know the truth! The current meanness, hurtfulness, & hatefulness is really you, Dementia. Because I know the truth, you can NOT make me hate him. There are two things that you try to destroy, but I won’t let you!

There are two things that you can NOT steal from me. I won’t let you! You cannot take away the things that I love about him. You may be able to hide them from me with your ugly mask. But I know they were there. So, I still knew him before you struck. You also can not take my memories of when he was himself. So, you horrid coward, you may fight in a way that is unfair, but there are a couple of things I will not let you win. Yes, I know you continue, day & night, to try. How dare you!

Sincerely,
a family member of one that you unfairly attacked